Better living through chemistry.

In the time I’ve been away, I’ve acquired a fairly broad selection of unrelated fodder, so set your Ritalin scones to the side for a moment, and let’s get down to business;
Coffee_Scone copy

Right out of the gate, Peter from Giro Sport Designs came through first with a bit of info which folks with hands may or may not be interested in;

“We decided to bring a timeless “Sherwood Camouflage” pattern to the LX LF™ by using a process that enables a design to be permanently applied to leathers. Sherwood Camouflage is a subtle variation of Woodland Camo, which was designed at the end of World War II by the US Army Engineer Research and Development Lab.  

In addition to the LX LF’s durable tanned leather and Merino wool Flex Zones, this Sherwood Camo edition features our Super Fit Engineered 3-panel palm and Technogel™  padding in the heel for cushioning. With 6 sizes to choose from, the LX LF™ fits like a second skin, so no matter where the ride takes you from road to mountain, this glove has you covered;  
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Giro’s First Friday 50 items are produced in limited quantity for this promotion and available to our fans for a limited time on Facebook. Be sure to ‘like’ us on Facebook and get a custom Giro piece before it sells out and is gone for good.

Have you got all that? It’s a leather glove with some fancy new camouflage printing technology, the pattern for which was designed in WW2 and is good for hanging out, leaning on your handlebars, and also for posting sandwich porn on Instagram, or sending long, drunken rambling texts to a former lover about how they were the greatest thing in your life and you are lost without them and that you’re also sorry you took a shit in the back of their parent’s piano last Thanksgiving, which they probably haven’t yet discovered.

At least that’s what I like to believe is about to be happening in the above photo and generally what I plan on doing with the pair that Peter sent to me;
IMG_4801
Or it’s entirely possible that these might just find their way into a shipment of some goods from the AHTBM Mercado to a lucky individual, because the only thing I love more than getting free stuff from companies is giving it away.

And not speaking of free stuff, we’re all aware that the hand built bike show is coming up soon, but did you know that happening at the same time in the same city with be the Anti hand built bike show, bike show?

Nick got in touch to elaborate on the whats nots and some other stuff;

Sir!
it just dawned on Bruce that it’s been 25 years since he first built the original ‘gravel grinder’, the rock ‘n road. To celebrate 25 years we’re building ten limited edition, individually numbered, hand-signed, magical rock ‘n roads.
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Later this month Bruce will be flying out to Denver for a big bike show that happens to coincide with another, bigger bike show. Bruce, Mark Nobilette, Mark Dinucci, and the Boulder bicycle/rene herse folks will be showing their bikes at the Denver Marriott on feb 23 from 4 to 8 pm. A bar happens to be within stumbling distance.

Hope you’re well, wherever you are.

Okay, I’m done,
Nick

I be loveing me a little bit of subversion.

No doubt Mr. Walker has already burst a few blood vessels over this.

Alas, I won’t be in attendance at either because I’ve already paid an exorbitant amount of money to hang around in a cold place with legions of nerds. Not only that, but I really don’t care that much. Certainly, if it was easily accessible I’d be happy to go, but I don’t really have any business there, and thirdly, with the coverage that will assuredly be found at Urban Velo, we can all stay at home, comfortably drinking in the sights and sounds from our chairs and bar stools.

Either way, I can only hope there with be a selection of $550.00 stems;
Speedvagen_Louisville_Stem_0079
I did mention last week that I was going to say something about this, didn’t I?

I’ll keep it brief, though if what I have to offer is not enough, and you really wanted to hear an old man complain, I’ll present this;

IHADDAWHOLEGODDAMNBOXOFGODDAMTWANKIESMUTHAFUCKKA!

Anyway, while I appreciate the tremendous amount of effort that has gone into these, I think it’s impossibly unnecessary and akin to several thousand dollar rims for your car.

It’s just stupid, extraneous fluff.

From my perspective, a bike is a machine, not unlike say, the Bridgeport that assists in making them. Is it reasonable to spend hundreds of dollars on custom painted parts for said Bridgeport, or to drip anodized parts all over it, meticulously detailing and documenting every step? Apparently for some people it would be.

From the price tag, to the abrupt bend that the cable has to make, I think the whole thing is gross, but then again, I don’t have to be the one riding the potential customer’s clown bike, so it’s no skin off my nose. It just serves as yet another example proving P.T. Barnum was right.

Though Ritalin might not be the call, I’m sure there are a number pharmaceuticals that could possibly alleviate the symptoms of buyer’s remorse.
newlittleskull

20 thoughts on “Better living through chemistry.

  1. Having worked in a machine shop for 20 years and having had daily access to no less that 5 Bridgeports on a daily basis I can honestly say I have never seen, or seen the need for, any sort of anodized part in no way, shape, form or fashion. They are utilitarian workhorses.

  2. I’m in the process of building up the worlds most over-priced bike. I started with a $550.00 saddle and now I’ve found my stem. Thanks for that.

  3. It’s like Vanilla invented that shit. We’ve been drilling stems for YEARS to run cables on bikes. Fucktards will buy it though…oh wait…it’s a Vanilla. Fucktards will pay a deposit, and wait 5 years…

  4. Cutting up that scone into several servings and eating each serving a half hour before riding on a vintage Rock and Road, would make you fly faster than a bike entirely made of $550 parts. It would be a smoother and smilier ride too regardless of what the ads for $550 parts tell you.

  5. Hey I make stems, have done that for years. I have a deal too! Buy a custom stem for $225 & you get a free bell braze on with, get this, a free bell !
    If it makes you feel better I will take $500 & deliver it in 2017.
    Cheers!
    IgleBike

  6. Can’t say a $550 stem really surprises me, the other day I walked into a shop that had about a dozen $10,000 S-Works Epic blah blah blahs on the showroom floor. Does anybody really need to spend that much money on a bike or a stem? Hell no!

  7. The LX LF gloves look nice (camo pattern or not). Have you used these before and if so, are they are worth 70 bucks? History has been a cruel teacher: usually when I spend twice as much on something it ends up falling apart twice as fast.

    • Their mountain gloves tend to be a bit thing in the palm for my liking, (I like ridiculously thick palmed and padded-everything gloves) but the gel padding they use is better than anything, ever. I am however, a big fan of their road gloves.

    • Yeah, I guess you make a good point. Two grand for a frame that takes a couple hundred hours to build, by someone who learned under Eisentraut and who has been building frames nearly as long as any American builder is a bit steep. Plus, it doesn’t say ‘integrated’.

  8. Meh, I see where the hate comes from, but…
    It’s nice kit made by ENVE, with an undoubtedly complex layup because of the stainless cable guide. American made labor hours and engineering hours. 350 doesn’t blow my mind for what it is. Just not my thing. Nitto Technomic FTW.
    The next 200 is for a really nice paint job. Which well… artisan labor hours. Again.
    If twenty bucks of the purchase went to a cause, the pricey paint job would go down a bit smoother. At the same time… they only made a baker’s dozen.
    It’s a pretty slick idea, but it’s a shame it says “integrated”. Smacks of walmart bikes with retail copy on the stays. “shimano equipped”, “dual suspension”

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