Bottom of the barrel, but looking up.

After Friday’s masterpiece I really have nowhere to go but down.
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Illustration courtesy McGlinch


To say that the HTC piece was my opus might be appropriate if I knew specifically what that meant, so as it stands, I’ll say that it was a thing I worked tirelessly on, yet still was somehow unable to edit entirely myself.
Thankfully I have some of the most astute readers in the business, none of whom are afraid to hold their tongues when it comes to pointing out my many errors. Why, it was just this past Friday evening while having a spirited phone conversation with Schreiner (‘spirited’ meaning filled with more jibs and jabs and general profanity than a middle school boy’s locker room) and I received one such correction. Maintaining the momentum of the present conversation, and while simultaneously washing dishes and preparing myself a cocktail, I shot off a response to said individual starting with ‘screw you’.
From there it just went downhill. Clearly I have no business starting emails to people I don’t know with ‘screw you’, unless of course those individuals have kidnapped my family or stolen the chrome rims off my van.
Occasionally I loose track of how a typed word can be construed, as any inflection, subtlety or nuance is lost, and regardless of the intent from which it is sent, words can sometimes be hurtful, so to that individual, I offer a sincere and humble apology for any confusion.
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For what it’s worth, I have learned a valuable lesson today. One which I will most assuredly not forget for at least several weeks.
Now that we have that bit of news handled, I would like to direct your attention to a recent episode of ‘The Daily Show’. It’s a rare occurrence that I use this platform for political purposes (lie #1) but I believe that the previously linked clip is one of the better I’ve seen in recent months and I would like anyone who struggles with the ability to make ends meet from month to month to watch it.
Or, if you don’t have the time, just watch this clip of Alan Grayson breaking it down in a minute’s time (along with P.J. O’Rourke being his usual insufferable self);

This is a huge topic to tackle within the confines of this site, and I don’t for a second take for granted the many good fortunes that I have, but at some points in my day I reflect on just how nice it would be to someday not go through life treading water financially. I think about how this is the only industrialized nation in the world whose residents can put themselves into a bottomless debt just paying for basic health care and education, and how I literally fist pump the air in celebration every time I get an order for a sticker, or a hat, or a t-shirt.
We are the bottom 99%. You and me, and everyone who reads this site (with the exception of Patrick Dempsey.. Oh, and that’s lie #2). We are all in this together, and I believe in folks who struggle month in and month out taking a stand and making their voices heard.
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We clearly are all we have to rely on.
In other news entirely, Cheever got in touch with evidence that he is on point to hold down mid-pack this season;
“Man it shows I had a six pack in me and I’m hung over at 3 in the afternoon;
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Went to Artcrank last night and hung with Longpour for a few beers. Hung over.
Evil wrist bands are ordered I’ll have a ETA soon.”

Cheever is a man of many talents;
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Let’s see.. What else do we have here? Ahh yes. California Governor Jerry Brown joined Texas governor Rick Perry, (pictured below, enjoying a corndog) in vetoing a bill requiring cars to slow down and give cyclists at least three feet passing room.
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To both Perry and Moonbeam, I offer you a spirited two finger salute;

“California Über Alles” indeed.
A lighter note in amongst today’s bits and bites is an email I received from the breath of fresh air that is Maggie;
“It’s cross season and I decided that to discourage other women from racing cross I would show up and be horrible. It’s working.
That being said, for my first race I crossed over to the dark side (Boulder) and got an amazing race number;
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I’ll just say this- Boulder has the worst bike race music in America.
‘Fields of Gold’ by Sting? I wanted to vomit more than usual.
Additionally you didn’t hear this from me but…. (PS we aren’t good with the flyer graphics around here.)
Fight Club Presents…
There Still Ain’t No Urban Cross Race!!!
(A.K.A. The Barry Wicks Classy Classic)
Nothing is going on at the parking lot of 1611 Platte St. Denver, CO on October 29th at 6:00.
And there sure as s@#t ain’t gonna be an underground cross race with bananas obstacles, Le Mans start, And Free Beer.
If you’re looking for prizes for:
·Best Costume
·Worst Costume
·Lantern Rouge
·Men’s and Women’s Intergalactic Champion of Nothing…
You looking in the wrong place!”

I felt bad for Maggie and her trouble making band of jerkface friends, so I made a crappy flyer for them;
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I don’t know what Mr. Wick’s schedule is but I do know that he reads this site from time to time, he has some derelict tendencies despite being a professional bicycle athletic pursuitist, and has been known for fits of absurdity.
Like arriving unannounced to an outlaw event in Denver bearing his name, for example.
In closing, I would like to welcome one and all back to our regularly scheduled posts consisting of half-assed social observations and whatever regurgitated fodder comes inch worming down my proverbial pipe.
On our rocket ride to the ground floor, always remember the esteemed words of ElCorpo, “bottom feeding is for poseurs. We live down here.”
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9 thoughts on “Bottom of the barrel, but looking up.

  1. “…this is the only industrialized nation in the world whose residents can put themselves into a bottomless debt just paying for basic health care and education…”
    Perfectly articulated Stevil… I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Education, the public health and the food supply should never be left in the hands of profiteers.

  2. Well, not so much that it’s ok to hit a cyclist as if you do, it’s the cyclist’s responsibility and not the individual behind the wheel. I have a suspicion this has more to do with financial responsibility and avoiding litigation, than it does ‘driver safety’.

  3. I agree with Gypsy. Even Mexico has universal health care. And even Arizona has a three foot rule for bikes,but maybe not such stylish corndogs

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