Later dogs.

As you read this I am abroad my private airplane, affectionately dubbed ‘The Super Polluter’ headed for points elsewhere.
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Today’s post will assuredly pale in comparison to the mastery of Monday’s, which is a shame because as they say, ‘you’re only as good as your last blog post’ so when my transport explodes in a fury of black smoke and polished aluminum shrapnel, I will only be remembered by whatever follows here..
Assuming I make the round trip safely, I will be back before you on Friday the 28th with my mediocre shovel of word smithing held tightly in my grip.
That said, let us embark.
From the spaceman named Billy, I got notification that he has organized the Down Unda’s first ever Soil Saloon;
“Hey Stevil,
hope you are having fun running through the mud carrying your bike in the cold. Down here in the bottom of the world the sun is out and it’s time for a hootenanny! So do help us promote what is the first Soil Saloon outside of the bay area… way out.
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And, as your attendance at one of our shindigs is still pending, you are still cordially invited. Since you may not make it back home by the evening, I am even willing to erect a cardboard fort behind the shop for you (don’t forget to put on your helmet before passing out, the kookaburras are feisty this time of year). The fun starts outside the Cog Bike Cafe in Mt. Evelyn January 26 at High Noon.
Thanks, see you there!
-Spaceman”

So for the good Australian people who are dedicated readers of this scrawl, if you are in close proximity to this throw down, get your dance pants on. Also, to Billy’s point of my carrying my bike through the cold mud, I can only respond with this;
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-and to wish my friends to the American North, and East as well as those in Central, Eastern and Northern Europa, a very happy January.
I sure am glad winter is over.
Speaking of places that are cold, Ulrika sent a transmission from the land of Sweden with news of a sinister happening;
“Thought you might enjoy this footage from the Black Cat alleycat in Göteborg, Sweden;

The course is in the shape of a pentagram, the checkpoints at various “dark” sites like graveyeards etc. and of course, the whole thing takes place on Halloween.
I mainly enjoy this rather high production-value video for the footage of the shadowy riders zooming down narrow streets, thought I imagine the entertaining Göteborg accents will be lost on the general public.
Thank you for your blog: I quite enjoy it.”

It just serves to remind me that I’m still afraid of the dark, and secondly, I need to replenish my supply of white face paint.
To avoid gloating any further and while we are still somewhat on the topic of upcoming events, Dan from the Nashville Bicycle Lounge is on the cusp of a Party (capital P) that promises to be one for the ages;
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In addition, and while relating to Nashvilleian occurances, Dan also got ahold of me with this;
“Stevil,
I wanted to throw out an invite to Muzak Shitty for the East Nashville Beer Festival – where we are doing our annual bicycle scavenger hunt. typical rules apply: all you gatta do is get yerself here and we’ll get you hammered and lost in a city you don’t know on a bike that doesn’t fit
-Dan”

Mark thy calendars.
If you should happen to find yourself residing in the winter wonderland that Northern California currently is, then you might be interested to know that the 2011 schedule for the Grasshopper Adventure Series has been released for your edification;
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If you might by chance like to get a high res version of this flyer for your own distribution, then here you go.
Don’t say I never gave you nothin’.
Now, because I’m trying to maintain my own personal empire here, I will take an uninvited opportunity to re-remind you of my own current directive;
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Remember we still have a fair amount of time before this order is due in to the good people at Earth Wind and Rider, so while 160 bones is quite a chunk to drop all at once, as of today it ends up equalling only about $1.80 a day. Even a pseudo-hobo such as myself can afford that, which reminds me that I should probably place an order for myself…
Missing out on my own order window would be a real shame.
Regardless of how proud I am of these, they still can’t hold a candle to the following hotness that was forwarded to me by Matt;
“Dude, these might be the next hott thing;
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So far, I have searched LL bean and Lands End – - no copy yet.
Matt-”

I think I know what will roll next off of the Black Market assembly line.
Actually, back to the weather for a moment, some people buried in the cold white stuff (that’s snow, not cocaine that has been kept in the refrigerator) are able to make the best of it. Jon happens to be one of those individuals;
“Stevil,
I built this;
jonssnowbikeskithing.jpg
and included this in its decor,
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…and spent new years terrorizing the children at the snow park with it.
-Jon”

If you can’t terrorize children with an invention, then I would say it’s time to go back to the drawing board.
From the land of Lance, Sandra Bullock, and this guy, Remmington forwarded me a suitable screen saver drawn by the hand of Brandon;
“One for you and your friends.”;
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Brandon and Remmington both speaka my language.
Dan made contact sometime on Tuesday with some information that might be relevant to my Bay Area brethren;
“Hey Stevil,
As the disseminator of all good things bike, I wanted to see if you could spread the word on the drive to get a bike park built at Stafford Lake in Novato. We’re hoping to build a XC trail and some wooden type free-ride fun time goodness. Mark Weir and a number of other good folks are backing it. Check the link for the low down.
There is a site tour coming up on January 22nd, so all the support we can get to come out will make a huge difference getting it built. Someday maybe we can get one bike park built for every 30 friggin golf courses. Someday…”

From my perspective, all golf courses are, are gigantic bike parks. Then again, the proprietors of said golf courses feel considerably differently on the matter.
Before I make a me-shaped hole in the wall as I depart your company for the week, it is my pleasure to give the official sneak peek of my new run of custom AHTBM Chuey Brand cycling caps;
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Please note that just because I referred to them as ‘cycling caps’, this isn’t to say that it is their only application. You can wash dishes in them, eat a Pudding Pop®, or even put stickers on your bass cabinet while wearing it. The world really is your oyster.
I will be taking delivery of these beauts around the time of my return, and should have a proper price on them by then. I should also note that a small run of these I had made with ear flaps for those of you whose winters have not yet come to a conclusion;
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I suspect they will be around $22.00 and $26.00 respectively, but might be a little less. Or maybe a bit more. Right now I don’t know.
Then again, if the Super Polluter explodes, then they’ll be probably just end up being free.
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6 thoughts on “Later dogs.

  1. Informative posting and always love the humor, esp. as I sit home w 2 sick (1 crankazoid) chillins. w winter over here in SC, a “Spring Vegan Virgin Blood Letting” just may be in good order. I’ll make up some flyers, post ‘em up at UCSC, and fwd copies to put on the blog. I think we might be getting a good representation from the local vegan community on this one. Hasta!

  2. In the Swedish alleycat video, the masks in the likeness of the man who was once accused of shooting Olof Palme suggest the kind of cultivated bad taste in which I am quite fond.
    On the subject of bicycles, Scandinavians and political assassinations, the Norwegian Iver Johnson manufactured bicycles and guns after emigrating to the US. Both William McKinley and Robert Kennedy were assassinated with Iver Johnson pistols.

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