A whole lot of references to man parts.

Between posts expounding on movies I’ve seen, strange new cyclocross practices and incoming barrages of shirts shaped like Ts, the old mail bag has gotten filled up again.
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Because I’ve just about exhausted all mail-related imagery, here instead is a graphic of a little girl setting herself on fire.


First up, Eric kicks things off to a somber start with the following transmission;
This travesty, on the heels of the fuckwit who’s keeping his job after crushing the surgeon, exemplifies the direction our country is heading.
at what point did civil society determine that cycling was to blame for vehicular crimes?
-Eric”

As I replied to Eric, I know for a fact that folks who mistreat kids don’t fare very well on the inside. I can’t imagine that once this news leaks, the story’s antagonist will be long for this world.
Having no relation to that whatsoever, in news of balls, badholes, and the hopeful continued health of both, Shawn forwarded me this.
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If you have any questions, they should easily be answered here;

“You’re not a whore if it’s for charity.”
Since I kinda missed the boat on the date, maybe I can get a credit.
So, with that being said, do what you have to, to curb cancer of the balls and badholes.
The only thing that the next email has to do with balls or badholes, is that the writer I assume has both;
“Hi Stevil,
When last I wrote I was showing my ass. Thanks for making my right cheek internet-famous. Your influence is far reaching.
It is because of that influence that I write to you again. I am no longer hitched up to the Breezer Bikes wagon. My recent freedom had allowed me to spend long days without pants, but my wife feels like gainful employment trumps the ability to lounge in my BVDs for weeks at stretch. I know the long arm of AHTBM reaches countless bike industry titans and I wondered if you could “put me out there” among that rarefied company.
I served as the product manager at Advanced Sports for the last two years developing Breezer and Fuji transportation bikes in addition to working directly with Joe Breeze to reintroduce Breezer mountain bikes. That guy has forgotten more about getting rad on dirt than I may ever learn. So if any of your readers out there are in the position to put me in the game I would love to have a chance to brag about myself to them. I can be contacted at j.lucas.elrath on the gmails. I attached a headshot and an action photo. References available upon request, I also make a mean burrito.
Luke @ Tweed Ride 4.jpg
Luke at track.jpg
*And if I get hired my first order of business will be to get the AHTBM limited edition model in the pipeline. How’s 5% of gross sound to you?
Right on,
Luke”

So there you have it. Not only do I connect lonely hearts with one another, but I can also be a worthwhile go between when attempting to find employment.
My uselessness has many uses.
Getting back in track with bicycles, and the racing of them, as I am well aware that this is a very important topic to many of you, Jason made contact with this;
“Re: Ritte knows cross racing.
…Thought you might enjoy the handup;
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-Jason”

Indeed Ritte does. As far as that goes, the little machine that refuses to quit has just offered up another bolt of the fancy in the form of a new steel bike;
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More on that slab of badassness can be found here.
God lawd.. Just when I thought Ritte couldn’t make my pants any smaller.
At this stage in the game, I can only assume that Lanolin has given up on sleep altogether. Work, work and more work fills his days, and compounding that, having to take care of a bunch of prima donna bike racers;

Now, in tribute to West Coasters and the mamby-pamby that we sometimes are, is a fitting image shot by Mark;
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On first glance, this is little more than a couple of young lovers about to engage in a hard-won embrace, but on further inspection, we can plainly see that Mark caught the shot that the photographer in the background was simply too awe struck to act upon.
All that sitting around in the snow for nothing.
It’s with that, that I will wrap today’s post up with no particular grace.
Monday’s tend to have that effect on me.
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5 thoughts on “A whole lot of references to man parts.

  1. What kind of a dick posts the news that Nov. 18 is National Sleep With a Guy With a Moustache Day on Nov. 22? Now I’m never going to get laid, at least not until next November 18th. Jerk.
    Oh well, I guess it’s back to my job with the Federal Bureau of Breast Inspection for now… got nothin’ better to do thanks to you, Stevil. Jerk.

  2. CT law clearly states that children under 15 must wear a helmet, but not wearing one doesn’t constitute a violation. It also states that parents cannot be held liable in a civil suit for “contributory negligence” in a case where the child failed to wear a helmet.
    After reading that article I am drawn to two conclusions:
    1. Mr. Weaving is a douche.
    2. The CT DMV sucks more than I had previously thought (based on firsthand experience).

  3. In a Lemmy sort of way, I have always thought cancer was kind of punk. I am not narcissistic enough to want to live forever.

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