Please…

Come into my inner sanctum.
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The whine is chilled, the lights are dim, and (b)romance is in the air.
Let us begin.
My oldest and dearest friend named after a sea creature got ahold of me with a short list of upcoming events in and around New York City;
“Stevil-
Got three events coming up, check it! If you can repost any or all of this stuff, it’s much appreciated!! I attached code for the flyers, let me know if that’s good.
Squarebuilt Raffle Friday
Velo City Saturday 11am-4pm
EFNY Saturday 7pm Reg/9pm Ride from East River Bar;
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Thanks and Ride Safe-
Squid”

For Squid I would go to the ends of the earth, or at the very least link a few events on this website.
In other news of handsome men in the big city, Newt (pictured here looking smashing) sent an email to let all of us know that the windy city’s second annual Big Dummy challenge is set to kick off again on July 3rd for any and all residing in the greater Chicago area.
For those who might not know just what the hell I’m talking about I offer you this;

A brief synopsis of the freakout can be simply summed up with the following;
“Its gonna be a little different this year but the basic principle is the same. A stupid amount of fun with a bunch of people that don’t suck.”
If you are hugged up on the book of faces, go here for more information. Otherwise, contact Johnny Sprockets directly.
Tell them I sent you.
Unless they seem to be in a bad mood, then you can forget that part.
In other news, Pentabike sent in this bit of post-appolocypta in for our consideration;

One man’s famine is another man’s fest.
It is slightly reminiscent of the aftermath from the 1989 Oakland Hills fire storm, after which I had no fewer than 18 empty pools at my disposal leaving my feet bruised, and my wrists battered.
Speaking of 685, his newest piece of hardware has just rolled off the assembly line and for those with a penchant for regular safety meetings, the Muststash® is a must-have;
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For my part, I don’t partake, but the thing was so cool I had to get one. I’m sure the grassers in my realm will be glad that I did.
Next up.. You all remember George, right?
He is one of the individuals who have consistently had a place within the annals of the varying web logs for which I have written. As per his usual poetic styled prose, he now comes though with another;
“This wasn’t exactly the worst place I’ve ever had breakfast. It’s at the top of a climb that I have a love hate fling going on with; loose sandy babyheads and steep switchbacks for a solid unrelenting 45-60 minute coitus session;
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But the descent is totally bitchin and filled with amazing grace!
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Eat shit,
George”

I’ve said it a bunch of times before, but I’ll say it again. It’s not a bummer to be George.
From the young upstart that is one of my esteemed advertisers, DPow! from Portland Design Works, we get the following;
“Here is some simple math for you sir:
If you’re reading this story and you add a Yakety Sax what do you get?
Pure fucking comedy gold.”

Jesus, I swear sometimes I think I should just turn over the keys to this thing to Dan. He is a true visionary.
As the America we know and love continues its descent down the proverbial economic and environmental crapper, it’s easy to feel a sence of hopelessness.
Luckily, in all of the doom and gloom, Stewart sent me a bright piece of news that almost makes it all tolerable;
Ünited Stätes Toughens Image With Umlauts.
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I realize that at this point in history replacing the stars with some horns is completely passé, but it was easier than replacing them with tiny pentagrams or flying V guitars, and at this stage in the game I am more than willing to always take the path of least resistance.
That comes from the single speeder in me.
From my new friend The Bike Shop Girl I received the following little slice of eye candy;

Now if you know me at all, you are aware that I think critical Mass has long overstayed its welcome, and if anything, at this point is doing more harm than good, but I do very much appreciate the visual stimulation and utopian-esque flavor that the video provides, so I guess I will take the good with the bad.
Before I go, I should make mention of a hodown coming up in our city by the bay that should you find yourself in a close proximity of, you might wanna get some wheels in on;
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It will be a good time benefiting a good cause.
With that, I will bid you a fond farewell until next week.
If you need me at any point over the upcoming weekend, I will either be blowing my fingers off, or relaxing in my smoking jacket on my sandwich bed. Either way, you are all welcome to come along for the ride.
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6 thoughts on “Please…

  1. If critical mass rides followed the lead set in that video, than they might be useful. Stopping at lights, letting pedestrians cross, not corking traffic… simple good cooperation. Isn’t that what critical mass was supposed to be about?

  2. The estimable Royce Nelson emailed me and said he was down there sessioning with those guys a while back and said he returned being unable to walk for three days. They charge harder than most.

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