Maybe if Willow had been on the Jack Lawrence training program, she wouldn't have just gotten bronze.
Comments
What does he have invested in that bike with the nice Groppo - about $7k? And it's 17 pounds? I might have just taken the $7k and bought a Scott Addict off the shelf. And maybe saved $70 by not buying a jersey that only George Hincapie or Levi Leipheimer have earned the right to wear.
Amazing! Did you see how effortlessly he lifted that bike off the ground. Is he a cyborg or perhaps a super human? no mere mortal could make a turd shine that bright. If only he was 40 I can only imagine watching him crush Levi in the tour of California. I guess one can only dream.
Yes Eric, I agree. The overall one-two punch of douchebaggery is obviously apparent, but it is the myriad of tiny little subtleties that when conjoined together make this man a gigantic DNA strand of lamesness. That's what I am talking about.
Worst part is I spend a few years of my life selling people bike just like that. If they could afford to buy, we'd bolt it on. Cash in the register means the shop is making money. Slam him if you want, but 40-something dudes rolling $7k bikes is what keeps the lights on in the bike industry.
Oh my farking god. Is that a Jersey or a girdle? Top shelf duechebaggedness at it's finest. Where is the anal probe that is supposed to be on the seat?
Jonny,
Slamming? Yes.
40-something dick heads are keeping the lights on? Yes.
Civics rolling with twice their cost in accessories attached? Yes.
Does Jack Lawrence claim on his website that he's a former professional cyclist? Yes.
Do I still think that guy's not that rad? Yes.
Is 'fashion over function' the lifeblood that keeps the industry afloat? Yes.
Is that a sustainable business model? Not really.
Do I have the answer? No.
Would you like me to ask more questions? Probably not.
Was Urge Overkill poised to be one of the greatest bands in the world until they snorted their entire career? I think so.
Are scrambled eggs one of my favorite foods? Yes.
Am I finished? Yes.
His kit is severely lacking for his level of douchebaggery.
I love seeing ding dongs like him pedaling away about 3 or 4 gears off,love handles and gut packed into a discovery jersey, trolling down the bike and hike.
That dude's name is really Larry Guynes. Bay area road folks will remember him getting blasted off the back of the Cat 3 field racing for Veloce Velo in the mid 1990s.
Comments
What does he have invested in that bike with the nice Groppo - about $7k? And it's 17 pounds? I might have just taken the $7k and bought a Scott Addict off the shelf. And maybe saved $70 by not buying a jersey that only George Hincapie or Levi Leipheimer have earned the right to wear.
But that's just me, and I'm no porn star.
Posted by: Jim | September 5, 2009 7:58 AM
the 3 inches of cable hanging off the front brake is the new gold standard for PRO mechanics.
Posted by: dpow | September 5, 2009 8:58 AM
The douchebaggery is hardly subtle, the think the correct way to describe this guy is 'cockbag'.
Posted by: Eric | September 5, 2009 9:01 AM
Amazing! Did you see how effortlessly he lifted that bike off the ground. Is he a cyborg or perhaps a super human? no mere mortal could make a turd shine that bright. If only he was 40 I can only imagine watching him crush Levi in the tour of California. I guess one can only dream.
Posted by: sean hurl | September 5, 2009 1:25 PM
fucking goon
Posted by: jimmy | September 5, 2009 3:16 PM
Yes Eric, I agree. The overall one-two punch of douchebaggery is obviously apparent, but it is the myriad of tiny little subtleties that when conjoined together make this man a gigantic DNA strand of lamesness. That's what I am talking about.
Posted by: Stevil | September 5, 2009 8:42 PM
The only real problem I see is spending $7K on a road bike. I mean, if I had $7K to spend on a bike, I'd get a motorcycle and use it jump buses.
But you know, whatever gives you a boner.
Posted by: Robot | September 6, 2009 4:58 PM
It's all about Performance!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vn29DvMITu4
Posted by: JP | September 6, 2009 6:13 PM
Worst part is I spend a few years of my life selling people bike just like that. If they could afford to buy, we'd bolt it on. Cash in the register means the shop is making money. Slam him if you want, but 40-something dudes rolling $7k bikes is what keeps the lights on in the bike industry.
Posted by: big jonny | September 7, 2009 12:17 AM
Oh my farking god. Is that a Jersey or a girdle? Top shelf duechebaggedness at it's finest. Where is the anal probe that is supposed to be on the seat?
Posted by: Elgee | September 7, 2009 7:41 AM
dentist.
Posted by: uranhermit | September 7, 2009 9:02 AM
HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH................
Posted by: -dan | September 7, 2009 3:58 PM
Jonny,
Slamming? Yes.
40-something dick heads are keeping the lights on? Yes.
Civics rolling with twice their cost in accessories attached? Yes.
Does Jack Lawrence claim on his website that he's a former professional cyclist? Yes.
Do I still think that guy's not that rad? Yes.
Is 'fashion over function' the lifeblood that keeps the industry afloat? Yes.
Is that a sustainable business model? Not really.
Do I have the answer? No.
Would you like me to ask more questions? Probably not.
Was Urge Overkill poised to be one of the greatest bands in the world until they snorted their entire career? I think so.
Are scrambled eggs one of my favorite foods? Yes.
Am I finished? Yes.
Posted by: Stevil | September 7, 2009 4:08 PM
17 pounds is "a little heavy"? Better hit the gym/'roid dealer, Jack.
Posted by: Anonymous | September 9, 2009 10:09 AM
Further reference from Urban Dicktionary...
Public Douchebaggery
When someone acts like a douche bag in public they are guilty of the offense "Public Douchebaggery"
Howard got drunk, pulled his pants down and curled one on the dance floor thus committing the ultimate act of Public Douchebaggery.
Posted by: snombie | September 9, 2009 2:57 PM
His kit is severely lacking for his level of douchebaggery.
I love seeing ding dongs like him pedaling away about 3 or 4 gears off,love handles and gut packed into a discovery jersey, trolling down the bike and hike.
Posted by: paul | September 9, 2009 9:39 PM
That dude's name is really Larry Guynes. Bay area road folks will remember him getting blasted off the back of the Cat 3 field racing for Veloce Velo in the mid 1990s.
Posted by: Jon | September 10, 2009 8:41 PM
Jon,
You are fucking kidding me!!! Why would anyone remember a Cat 3 race from the mid-90's. You race geeks crack me up!
Posted by: cx | March 19, 2011 6:46 AM