What does he have invested in that bike with the nice Groppo - about $7k? And it's 17 pounds? I might have just taken the $7k and bought a Scott Addict off the shelf. And maybe saved $70 by not buying a jersey that only George Hincapie or Levi Leipheimer have earned the right to wear.

But that's just me, and I'm no porn star.

the 3 inches of cable hanging off the front brake is the new gold standard for PRO mechanics.

The douchebaggery is hardly subtle, the think the correct way to describe this guy is 'cockbag'.

Amazing! Did you see how effortlessly he lifted that bike off the ground. Is he a cyborg or perhaps a super human? no mere mortal could make a turd shine that bright. If only he was 40 I can only imagine watching him crush Levi in the tour of California. I guess one can only dream.

fucking goon

Yes Eric, I agree. The overall one-two punch of douchebaggery is obviously apparent, but it is the myriad of tiny little subtleties that when conjoined together make this man a gigantic DNA strand of lamesness. That's what I am talking about.

The only real problem I see is spending $7K on a road bike. I mean, if I had $7K to spend on a bike, I'd get a motorcycle and use it jump buses.

But you know, whatever gives you a boner.

It's all about Performance!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vn29DvMITu4

Worst part is I spend a few years of my life selling people bike just like that. If they could afford to buy, we'd bolt it on. Cash in the register means the shop is making money. Slam him if you want, but 40-something dudes rolling $7k bikes is what keeps the lights on in the bike industry.

Oh my farking god. Is that a Jersey or a girdle? Top shelf duechebaggedness at it's finest. Where is the anal probe that is supposed to be on the seat?

dentist.

HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH................

Jonny,
Slamming? Yes.
40-something dick heads are keeping the lights on? Yes.
Civics rolling with twice their cost in accessories attached? Yes.
Does Jack Lawrence claim on his website that he's a former professional cyclist? Yes.
Do I still think that guy's not that rad? Yes.
Is 'fashion over function' the lifeblood that keeps the industry afloat? Yes.
Is that a sustainable business model? Not really.
Do I have the answer? No.
Would you like me to ask more questions? Probably not.
Was Urge Overkill poised to be one of the greatest bands in the world until they snorted their entire career? I think so.
Are scrambled eggs one of my favorite foods? Yes.
Am I finished? Yes.

17 pounds is "a little heavy"? Better hit the gym/'roid dealer, Jack.

Further reference from Urban Dicktionary...

Public Douchebaggery

When someone acts like a douche bag in public they are guilty of the offense "Public Douchebaggery"

Howard got drunk, pulled his pants down and curled one on the dance floor thus committing the ultimate act of Public Douchebaggery.

His kit is severely lacking for his level of douchebaggery.

I love seeing ding dongs like him pedaling away about 3 or 4 gears off,love handles and gut packed into a discovery jersey, trolling down the bike and hike.

That dude's name is really Larry Guynes. Bay area road folks will remember him getting blasted off the back of the Cat 3 field racing for Veloce Velo in the mid 1990s.