The chronicles of eschew.
You know, as I was out and about on a long, head clearing speed cycle jaunt recently I was struck with a thought. Ironically I was simultaneously struck by this thought only seconds after I was also nearly struck by a vehicle. I began thinking about Big Jonny, as I often do even when my well being isn't being threatened by someone who has better things to do than pay attention to the rest of us existing beyond the ends of their noses, and I thought about his site, and how it's become a message board of sorts for all notices of any person atop two wheels to be taken out by a car.
.. And I began imagining what it would be like to be run down, and if that were to occur someone might say 'at least he was doing something that he loved'.. Mind you this all transpires over a matter of seconds..
I began reflecting on that sentiment, and just how much crap it is... I'd like to go on record here and say that if I do ever meet the underside of a vehicle while riding a bike, I would prefer that no one utter those words, because as I see it, what I was doing when I was killed was being hit by a car, and I for damn sure don't love that.
Is this thought process an indication that I'm spending too much time alone?
Perhaps.
As previously reported, GeneO took a tumble.
Lucky for us, he has stayed coherent long enough to shoot us a high five from his hospital bed;
"So I was riding on this trail when all of the sudden this tree reached out and stabbed me with this plastic tube.
I was like WTF?
Then even more weird.. A little brown bottle rolls up and says "Hi! my name is Oxycodone I'm gonna be your new friend!"
The end."
In my life I've heard horrible stories about individuals getting scalpels sewn up inside of them, or even going in for minor surgery, and walking out with one less kidney, but I've never heard of anyone getting a butthole put in their side before.
The one he has is enough of a terror as it is. God only knows what havoc he will wreak with a second..
I suppose that it's an appropriate segue to go from this to an article about evolution in action.
It's just a matter of time before we find ourselves inching down the food chain, and as far as that point goes, Madagascar is well ahead of the curve.
Personally, I'd much rather go to war GeneO's second badhole, thankyouverymuch.
At least I know that I'd escape from battle with that with most of my life intact, which is more than could be said for those preparing to engage in the upcoming SSWC in Durango.
Obviously as proven by this shot taken by Devon Balet, the good people behind this year's fiasco have been hard at work in an attempt to make 2009's festivities among the most epic yet;
For my part, I unfortunately will be present this year only in spirit, but I trust those in attendance will do what it takes to make up for my absence. Not having a regular paycheck certainly has its downside in that I have to very carefully have to pick and choose my travel plans, and the prize I have my eye on currently is Minneapolis' epicly fun Homie Fall Fest.
If you know what's good for you, you'll be there too.
I've gotten a few concerned emails from folks asking me how I'm doing with my newly found freedom, which I certainly appreciate. I know sometimes when an individual is cut loose, a struggle occurs when attempting to figure out their role in the day to day..
Rest assured, I can think of worse ways to spend my time.
At least until I have to come knocking on your doors asking to borrow money, I'm feeling just fine.
In closing, here is one for the 'what could possibly go wrong?' file, one for the 'Damn... What?' file, and one for the 'holy hell, WTF' file;
That's it for me.
As proven by this shot from Morgan, I'm outta here.
I hope that each of you has a ridiculously fantastic weekend.
That's a lot of fantasticness.
Comments
Loudass Twittered my Facebook wall about your blog, which I downloaded and read on my Kindle, but it was text-only so I used the Internet Wayback Machine to retrieve a cache of this page from 7:53 p.m. tonight, and then I commented "Fyrstur" which is Danish for First.
Posted by: SM | August 27, 2009 10:58 PM
Welcome back Stevil.
Happy Friday one and all!
Posted by: BadBeard | August 28, 2009 12:33 AM
I’m going to be suffering in Durango like a two dollar whore on quarter night. I’m worried not so much for the single speed climbing but more for the all that drunken sex with Bob Roll.
Posted by: cary | August 28, 2009 3:38 AM
Perhaps...
Podium...
Maximo...
Posted by: snombie | August 28, 2009 4:28 AM
Holy Shit, I want a Poodle Tatonka! thanks i spewed my coffee onto the monitor!
Here's to a good weekend!
Posted by: brado | August 28, 2009 5:33 AM
What shorts are those? Nevermind the belt.
Posted by: br_ant | August 28, 2009 6:07 AM
Damn GeneO, stay out of that plastic tube forest, BRUTAL!
Posted by: Brujo | August 28, 2009 6:46 AM
I just saw this dude sittin' in a picture at your link to the HomieFest writeup, and I was thinkin'... y'know... Slayyyyerrrrrr!
Posted by: Jim | August 28, 2009 7:02 AM
Ahh. HFF. I shall have to make room in my calendar for that this year....
Posted by: martini | August 28, 2009 7:33 AM
best of luck on a speedy recovery to your friend geno. i have a matching a-hole scar on my left side. the best part was when the surgeon first inserted the tube and all the blood and body cavity puss came shooting out! even in my morphine induced state i shouted out 'slayer'.
Posted by: pedalman | August 28, 2009 7:55 AM
I saw a "I shouldn't be alive" show where a guy was trapped under a rock in a river bed as it started to rain. He said it always seemed romantic to die out doing what he loved, until the situation was presented, then it didn't sound so cool.
Then again, the man eating tree of Madagascar doesn't look so inviting either...
Posted by: BikeLemming | August 28, 2009 9:29 AM
dude, I thought you were running this site http://stevilkinevil.com/
and schleking you old nascar and bud gear, but alas this here site is way more kickasser.
Posted by: the most factory | August 28, 2009 9:34 AM
Wow, I am not so sure what is cooler. The badhole on genO, or HFF coming up quickly.
Posted by: TimmyPlowed | August 28, 2009 10:12 AM
it's good to be reading your ramblings again! keep em coming
Posted by: jimmy | August 28, 2009 10:39 AM
What shorts are those?! Fuck sakes man, where have you been? Buy a pair of Ben Davis pants for $29.99, and cut the legs off. If you prefer a real natty look, have your mom or slam piece hem the ends.
Posted by: Loudass, Esq. | August 28, 2009 11:14 AM
Congrats.........I had been very worried and unable to function.
You complete me
Ric Smith
Western Montana
Posted by: ric smith | August 28, 2009 12:04 PM
Having watched my brother nearly die after getting run over by a Suburban, and then slowly witness him recover over 12 months, I can attest that it's not glamorous or even the slightest bit heroic. Wear a helmet and tell your mom you love her.
Posted by: worldbtom | August 28, 2009 1:04 PM
that my font!
http://boozelys.com/
Posted by: dfl brad | August 28, 2009 2:47 PM
I've got to second worldbtm Stevil. My injury was nowhere near as bad as his brother's or Big Jonny's, just some plates and screws in an arm, but it still sucks. Man being unemployed where you are has to be a blessing and a curse because while the riding is so epic it is also so a@#fu@#*()&y expensive. When you get some gear up I'll buy it.
Posted by: Chris | August 28, 2009 5:03 PM
Th' ol' man loved flying airplanes, but he wasn't about to die doing what he loved, nope.
Posted by: Chezedog | August 28, 2009 6:20 PM
Those poodles make me randy!
Posted by: JP | August 28, 2009 8:24 PM
Hey! I never said you could use that picture of my dog!
Posted by: aden | August 28, 2009 11:17 PM
Nope. Seen a friend miss a stop sign and check the oil pan of a taxi. Nothing I would want to do. He didn't seem to be lovin' it.
Time to put the cross tire back on the Portland me thinks.
-B
Posted by: Bluenoser | August 29, 2009 2:21 AM
Look like Chrome® short-trousers. I like 'em regardless of they're origin. How does one ride without junk containment thoguh? Boxers underneath never work for meself.
I crashed last summer riding singletrack full of (apparently) hidden rocks and logs with sticky-bits. Cost me a functional opric nerve. Still didn't suck as much as Big Jonny, nor GeneO.
Pay atention out there
Posted by: Apis | August 29, 2009 9:50 AM
Ah yes the HFF.
I need to start planning now so I can be there.
One of my only regrets in life was that I didn't make last years after attending the couple years previous.
Can't allow that to happen again.
See ya there
Posted by: One Eyed z | August 30, 2009 9:40 AM
the dog is supposed to be a rooster...i just got it.
Posted by: Rocky | August 30, 2009 4:21 PM
that's the kind of dog who needs vindication. Kinda like, their owner dies and no one comes by the house for a few days or week. The dog gets hungry and...well, you know the rest.
Posted by: -dan | August 30, 2009 6:01 PM